One man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be made well?”     [John’s Gospel 5.5-6]

There he is, on the edge of the picture frame.

As the story takes shape, he lies there, not quite noticed, because he’s part of the furniture. Not the furniture of which anyone takes account, but like the old lounge that mum, and her mum before her, used for spare, if someone, uninvited, stayed the night.

Pushed into the corner. Draped with a dust cover. Just in the corner of your eye.

Like many in the Jesus stories he does not warrant a name, unlike the Sheep Gate, and the Beth-zatha pool, where he has been since before Jesus was born.

Presumably, over the decades, someone has brought him food and clothes; perhaps there are those who offer charity, but not enough companionship to help him move towards healing.

Jesus lifts the dust cover and asks him, ‘Do you want to be healthy?’

So accustomed is he to finding reasons, even excuses, for not being well, that his reply echoes all the other accusations, theologies and stereotypes he has endured. Like the Samaritan woman in the last chapter, they are tattooed into his life.

Thirty-eight years of suffering ends in one sentence from Jesus. No words of thanks, or blessing. Sabbath means not rest for him, but restoration. Shalom indeed.

Then they discover him. Those who ignored, or blamed, or labelled him in the past, the ones our own Manning Clark would certainly have labelled “straighteners” – the punishers of life.

Healing? Be blowed. Sabbath is no time for life and restoration. We know this story all too well; he is only worth their attention when they have something to gain, or some pound of flash to be carved off.

So, why was he there for a lifetime? Did his parents, or siblings, place him there in hope, or despair? Why didn’t they wait long enough to escort him to the pool? Was their compassion – and that of others – exhausted entirely?

Is it possible that his identity, from time and blame, was his illness and nothing else?

We know the answers to none of these questions. We wonder, though, whether he moves from knowing who he is – labelled, disabled and dismissed – to not knowing, now that everything has changed, a lifetime identity transformed.

Is there something in Jesus’ question? “Do you want this?” is something more searching than compassion, perhaps. It is taking someone who has been placed out on the edge of the image, and focusing on them. “Do you want health?” is asking him to reach for more than despair; sometimes despair is the story to which we have become accustomed, and we even believe that might be all we deserve.

The wonderfully ridiculous scene of the “ex-leper” in Python’s Life of Brian, captures this beautifully. Who am I now, if I can’t beg?

We can become content with our circumstances, blaming others, or even ourselves with our inability to find a solution and move on. Healing can be frightening.

And then Jesus.  

Dare we risk ourselves with this Jesus, who will forgive, and heal, and renew? Do we want to be made well? Jesus calls us forward, and his love invites us to imagine – and live – a life shaped by his compassion and mercy, and not by our past.

Do you want to be whole?

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”                 [John’s Gospel 13.34-35]

When we read scripture, one of the cardinal rules is context – location, location, location, as the roadside signs proclaim.

[Momentary Excursus: There was a monstrous (by every definition) sign for a temporary political party in the recent federal election just past Bendemeer, on the way to Armidale and its impact appeared minimal, in terms of votes gained. Perhaps it’s about more than just location…]

If we are careless, we will lift this extraordinary paragraph of Jesus’ words and ignore the path before and behind him. We do this at our peril.

Jesus has just washed the feet of his disciples, shared a meal with them, and Judas has walked into the night. The next moment, Jesus talks about loving each other, which is how people will know that they belong to Jesus.

Immediately, Peter falls into the frame, proclaiming his courage and loyalty, which last less than a few strident heartbeats.

Shortly, Judas’ betrayal will bear its malign fruit, and Jesus will be arrested and taken to the cross.

Jesus’ commandment to love each other describes the core of discipleship, bracketed by betrayal and denial. This is the essence of what Jesus offers – to love in such a way that people are drawn to Christ. When we realise that we are asked to love (and wash the feet of) those who might betray us, deny our relationship, or even cause us harm, his commandment weighs more heavily than the winsome chorus many worshipping communities will sing this weekend.

This week I attended a rally in solidarity with the people of Palestine, and Gaza in particular. Muslims and Jews, Christians, atheists and agnostics, we gathered in a local park. I turned to a disciple beside me, and asked what resolution looks like – what reconciliation looks like – in Gaza and Israel, especially now.

We pondered together, sadly.

This is the context in which Jesus’ command is placed. Not simply loving those who love us, but loving those who betray, deny and defile. And Jesus is definitive: loving in such way is evangelical. Loving in this way proclaims worth and value and hope, and the One we follow.

Loving in the way we are commanded, in the way Jesus loves, transforms those we love, and transforms us.

It is easy to find an enemy, to name and accuse them, and to settle into retribution. That is neither who we are called to be, nor how we are to live. In a world scarred by generational injustice and understandable anger, we are called to discern both how love calls us to act and speak, and to discern what love might offer, reconcile and make new in our community and our world.

We walk in the steps of Jesus, knowing first that we are loved by One who will never cease to do so.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
he leads me beside still waters;
he restores my soul.
He leads me in right paths
for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I fear no evil;
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff –
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
my whole life long.

The lilt of the music which accompanies this most-famous of psalms, can mislead us. We can easily be captured by the movement of the tune, as we lift our eyes to glimpse the conclusion, wrapped in hope.

The heart of the psalm is concerned with the troubles with which many of us are beset in the world around us. The struggles of our life, the dangers which cause fear, and those who seek our harm; all of these are present as the psalmist asserts their faith in God.  

Which is precisely why the psalms have been essential to faith and life for three millennia.

These are not the self-focused and simplistic words of someone who is dealing saccharine to those in need of substance; neither are they “Jesus is my boyfriend” theology which never pierces the surface of our lives, let alone people’s suffering.

The psalmist asserts that faith has us confronted by our enemies, walking in dark places, but then, equally asserts the reality of the presence of God in all these circumstances. Unlike so many modern worship songs, the centre of this psalm is not me, and how I feel, but God, and God’s accompaniment of me at every step.

The psalmist – and thus, we – finds their place because God is with us. This is each of us as sheep being shepherded, as disciples being led to life, throughout our life.

There’s a depleted version of faith, which indicates that this life is only valuable because eternity awaits us. What happens here does not carry any real weight. This is such an insubstantial understanding of our lives, of those we love, of those we serve.

Throughout history we have watched those who are called to be shepherds failing in their task, often deliberately.  At this moment we can see wolves, not even pretending at camouflage, rending those who are most vulnerable and disregarding those who cry out on their behalf. These are shepherds who betray their calling.

What will it mean for us to emulate the One who has shepherded us, and continues to do so? If we are truly disciples of this God, we will lift our voices (our rod and staff?) and risk ourselves to protect and comfort those who are most threatened, who spend their lives in dark valleys.

A trusted colleague reminds me that God’s goodness and mercy not only follow me, but the text has its origin in the word “pursue”; this is a God whose goodness and mercy seek us out consistently and for eternity.

Hope is the faith to assert that God is with us, even in the worst season, not watching from the ridge of the valley, but walking every step beside us, perhaps half a pace ahead.

In Christ, our hope is realised; this God, this hope, this life. God with us.

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” [John’s Gospel 21.15]

It’s like déjà vu all over again.

Stories of disciples fishing, then the additional similarity of an empty catch, and the advice from a stranger. It’s an echo, or reflection of the start of Matthew, Mark and Luke’s Gospels; we can hear the tune of the old Sunday School song in our ears, when Jesus called the disciples to leave their nets and follow.  

We are here, at the close of John’s Gospel, hearing their beginning, at the end.

Have the disciples lost their faith, lost their hope, or are they simply lost? A heartbeat ago, they were embraced in peace and purpose by Jesus’ blessing and the Holy Spirit. Now they have returned to what they used to know, perhaps fishing for a meal, or they are not sure who they are without Jesus.

However, the net remains stubbornly empty; have they forgotten even this?

It may well be that John’s last chapter is necessary because Peter is not yet sure who he is in the light of Christ’s resurrection. Mary’s fear has been addressed, as has Thomas’ faithful doubting.

Peter has not yet been reconciled with himself and Christ.

Jesus searches him, and knows him; he hems Peter in, behind and before, and will not let him go. Peter’s three earlier denials, punctuated by the rooster’s crow, require Jesus’ three questions framed in love and purpose. This is more demanding than forgiveness, more profound than reconciliation; this is a new creation in evidence.

“If you love me more than these, then look after my flock.” As you grow, events will become more challenging, more onerous, and your life will draw to an end in a manner beyond your choice. So, follow me.

No nostalgia in evidence, no Sunday School chorus playing in the background; this is the consequence of resurrection. This is what disciples do. This is who disciples are.

Until this moment, it is possible we imagined resurrection was simply an extraordinary miracle, offering life. Peter has discovered that it changes our lives, as an echo of the creation’s very renewal.

Wonder, absolutely. Life, without a doubt. Forgiveness and mercy, beyond measure.

For Peter, and thus, for us? To be the disciples of a risen, crucified Lord, who will recreate and renew humanity as his own, and who calls us to follow him from the beginning, until the creation is complete, when “all is unentangled, all is undismayed.”

The women were terrified and bowed their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen. Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be handed over to sinners, and be crucified, and on the third day rise again.” Then they remembered his words, and returning from the tomb, they told all this to the eleven and to all the rest.                             [Luke’s Gospel 24.5-8]

How easily our memories lapse, or falter. There are frequently good reasons, of course; chaos in our lives, or a really difficult situation.

After all the crushing trauma of Jesus’ execution, a number of faithful women find their way to Jesus’ tomb. They know their role, caring for the body, anointing him with spices, as the custom expected.

And everything is wrong. The stone is moved, they can’t find Jesus’ body; chaos begins. They aren’t considering resurrection; they must assume that someone has stolen his body, and then two blokes suddenly appear. Their first response (naturally) is fear.

Then comes this question to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead?” There is a straightforward answer, until the men remind them about what Jesus had told them, about punishment, suffering and death, then resurrection. They are looking in the wrong place.

And the women remember. Then they begin to bear witness to the One who has died and has now been raised.

Why do we seek the living among the dead? Why do we seek refuge, or instruction, in the models which, even if they served us well in the past, have little resource for us know?

So much of our mission and ministry life can be spent looking over our shoulders, pondering the stories which have passed, or are now extinguished. Of course there is wisdom to be learnt from our history, but our future will not be found there.

Our reflexive mantra, across the church or community groups, can be “We tried something like that once …” and we bury the suggestion neatly beside the others. Or we can say, “there is not enough money/resource/people/time for that”, and we put flowers to lay on the grave of the last ideas which challenged the status quo.

In our forgetfulness we can always discover a significant theological or missional reason simply to do nothing; “we need to pray”, or “where is the theological reasoning behind this?” or, as the bell tolls, “where is the mission plan?”, when we have been praying or thinking this idea through for months, or even years.

We are a people of the resurrection. We believe that God brings life where none is expected, or hoped for.

How easily we forget. We can become accustomed to the old story, the story of death; however, the risen crucified Christ will not permit that to continue.

Resurrection is unnerving, of course, even frightening, because nothing will remain the same. God, in Christ, has upended the creation, and invited us to life – for ourselves, our faith community and the world in which we live.

We are compelled not just to remember, but to witness, in our words and our lives.

Christ is risen!
He is risen indeed!

There is a man who will not let me sleep,
each night he comes and trembles by my side;
he cannot be touched yet wind disturbs his hair,
he cannot touch yet his shadow covers me.

Each night he comes and trembles by my side,
I reach towards him and he fades like day.
He cannot touch yet his shadow covers me,
I hide within myself and he draws close.

I reach towards him and he fades likes day,
I hear him though he does not speak a word.
I hide within myself and he draws close
and stretches out both arms as if in pain.

I hear him though he does not speak a word,
the sound of something breathing, wind in the trees.
He stretches out both arms as if in pain,
‘I come to wound you and to heal the wound’.

As [Jesus] was now approaching the path down from the Mount of Olives, the whole multitude of the disciples began to praise God joyfully … saying,
“Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!
Peace in heaven, and glory in the highest heaven!”
Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, order your disciples to stop.” He answered, “I tell you, if these were silent, the stones would shout out.”
[Luke’s Gospel 19.37-40]

“Let me tell you about a king,” says Jesus, inviting all who listened to hear a story all of us know. The wrong kind of monarch, who lived and ruled by a hunger for control of people’s lives through slavery, hatred, fear and a monstrous brutality.

Those desperate among us want to find an echo of God in Jesus’ parable, rather than discovering something else. We confuse this with the other parables of talents and gifts; however, this is a story of a dealer and despot and a few who are temporarily lifted, while others are forever crushed by his arbitrary gestures.

Why does Jesus tell this story, and why does Luke remind us?

One sentence later, Jesus has arranged transport and is riding into Jerusalem, facing not just the adulation of his disciples and the crowd around him, but the resentment of the Pharisees.

These will be the final days of his life.

Crowd-crowned and mounted on a donkey, this monarch for whom the stones themselves would sing has no intention of sacrificing anyone but himself.

The initial hallmarks of his reign? Weeping over his city’s failure to seek and understand what makes for peace, and restoring the essential place of worship to teaching and prayer.

Could there be a starker contrast between the grotesque Ozymandian character whose tale Jesus told, and himself, who, like the widow he praises, offers all he has?

When a child asks, perhaps, for the story of a monarch, shall we talk of swords and crowns and rings? Shall we speak of the weak ridiculed, and the poor discounted, of smaller nations trampled and their leaders despised and mocked, with slavish adulation offered to those whose trademark is corruption?

The language of queens and kings may have less currency in these days (and that is good) but the language of God’s kingdom – God’s reign, God’s economy – stands as prophetic corrective to all those who rule by diktat and despair.

This Jesus who arrives in Jerusalem, travels deliberately to his suffering and death, while his path has offered healing and forgiveness, mercy and hope. These last few days will remind us of transformed lives and communities, and the possibility of life renewed for all of us.

As the shadow continues to fall, and Friday is but days away, two thousand years is but a moment as we measure Jesus’ monarchy against all those who rule, or seek to do so, in the world around us.

We will walk Jesus’ path with him, from the temple to the cross. We will see the astonishing truth of Jesus’ monarchy and find ourselves embraced within it. On Sunday morning the very stone which sealed his tomb will sing aloud of the One whose life is entirely given for others.

Blessings for this week’s journey.

Now to the gate of my Jerusalem,
The seething holy city of my heart,
The saviour comes. But will I welcome him?
Oh crowds of easy feelings make a start;
They raise their hands, get caught up in the singing,
And think the battle won. Too soon they’ll find
The challenge, the reversal he is bringing
Changes their tune. I know what lies behind
The surface flourish that so quickly fades;
Self-interest, and fearful guardedness,
The hardness of the heart, its barricades,
And at the core, the dreadful emptiness
Of a perverted temple. Jesus  come
Break my resistance and make me your home.

This piece was originally written for the Nyngan Weekly.

There is palpable relief across much of the western areas of our state as we head into Easter. The hot dry spell has eased, and many are thankful for good rain, which signals hope for the season ahead. Pressure has eased for the moment.

In the next breath, we are conscious of those who are confronted by the calamity in western Queensland – stock death and damage are considerable, and the extent will not be properly revealed for some time. Stories of this nature are not unknown to our communities, and we will offer what we can to those north of us.

This is the challenge of living where we are, and addressing the realities before us. We all know this, and look for signs of encouragement and hope where we can.

As I walk into shops in my community and see cheese and vegemite hot cross buns, and fluffy bunnies (occasionally stuffed with chocolate), I don’t understand how these ideas of Easter make any sense, or address the world in which we live. Are they meant to distract us from the world around? Are they simply meant to be enjoyable? (I am not confident that those particular hot cross buns would even be edible!)

Easter is not only about celebration and wonder. At the crux of the Easter message to which I respond most completely is the affirmation that God is with us, always.

This is not a message to entertain or distract us, but addresses the essential moments of our lives, and the lives in the world around us.

At the beginning of Easter week, the story of Jesus leads us towards the cross, towards Jesus’ death. Good Friday is the punctuation of this journey, as the Roman Empire, corrupt politicians, broken religious leadership and an easily swayed crowd decide that executing Jesus will help them. This is a story which we can see in the world right now – how when things break down, corruption seeps in and people suffer.

Jesus’ death is the assertion that God is with us in the broken moments, when injustice happens, when the world goes entirely pear-shaped. When we suffer, as individuals, or families, or communities, we are not alone in our suffering; Jesus has experienced brokenness and injustice. And death.

On the cross, God is most completely with us.

On Saturday, after Jesus has died, we wait; all creation holds its breath. We hope that this is not the end of the story. Waiting is not uncommon for us; we wait for our lives to recover from disaster, for the news after an operation, for a relationship to be restored after a fracture.

And then, Easter! When the impossible happens, and life breaks out. Jesus’ return to life is the new assertion of God, that death is not the strongest word, that love and life are stronger than punishment and injustice, that suffering will have an end.  

As we mark this Easter journey and eat our (traditional) hot cross buns, may I encourage you to consider the hope of God who is with us, always; in the good seasons, and the ones we would never choose.

The God we know in Jesus is about love, hope and forgiveness, and being with us in every step, leading us to life.

Enjoy your Easter!

[At Bethany] they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. [John’s Gospel 12.2-3]

She is silent.

In each version of this story told, in every gospel, she says not a word.

In spite of all the stones hurled at her, of anger, injustice, labelling and accusation, even when she is embraced by the mercy of Jesus, not a word passes her lips.

Yet in her silence, her actions sing.

Despite being nameless in three of the four gospel stories, and labelled “sinful” when Luke tells the story, few are better known, and even fewer stories are retold so often and held with such care. Perfume, tears, embrace and anointing are the hallmarks of her love.

Mark and Matthew recall Jesus’ words, that “wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in remembrance of her.”

So many of these women whose presence, whose ministry, is so frequently offered in silence and conducted in anonymity, proclaim in their response and their actions the reign of God.

A woman takes two small copper coins, worth virtually nothing, and almost everything, leaving those who watch in no doubt as to both her faithfulness, and the demands of the temple on those who can least afford them. Another woman, silenced by illness and social isolation, urges her way through the crowd to find not only healing at her touching of Jesus, but the embrace of his affirmation.

These women, and others, by their faithfulness and courage, urge us to a more complete discipleship. Mary, clearly identified as one of Jesus’ disciples, by her attention to his word as she sits at Jesus’ feet, and by her affirmation of faith, offered only a heartbeat after her brother’s death, offers now a sacrament of anointing.

No word is needed. Such extravagance, such generosity. Measured not by dollars and cents and bookkeepers, but by the perfume which fills the house.

This prophetic word which Mary tells soundlessly, by expending so much of herself in one moment. This wondrously wasteful, intimate act, acknowledging that suffering and death stand at the door, waiting for Jesus.

This song she sings, knowing that she will not have Jesus with her for much longer, urging us to understand.

What is it for us to be so generous, when we have been so consciously taught to be careful, even frugal? What will it mean for us to be wasteful in such a way as Mary, to be as courageous as she is, and those other unnamed women who find their way to Jesus and to justice, to hope and healing?

What will it mean, indeed, for us to not only find our own way to Jesus, but to open the way for the nameless others who have been told, consistently, there is no path, no healing and no place?

Mary sings it for us, always.